1)You know you’re riding your bike on the wrong side of the road and you don’t care when someone honks and berates you.
2) You ask other people about their WG-Putzplan (shared flat cleaning plan).
3)You think 10% is a good tip
4)You actually enjoy learning strange and obscure dialect words.
5)Fastnacht (Carnival) doesn’t freak you out anymore.
6)You drink coffee with someone who helped you move something heavy (instead of a beer).
7)You think it’s normal for people to eat bread and cheese for dinner, even if they’re not in jail.
8)You think 2 minutes late is unacceptable.
9)You complain when Tacheles (a bar) kicks you out at 5am.
10)You stop and think about which trash can a kleenex, tea bags and toothbrushes go into.
11)You don’t remember the last time you won an argument with a German.
12)You know not to call someone during Tatort (like Murder, She Wrote).
13)You don’t use the word ‘date’ because is scares girls.
14)You think it’s normal for someone to never share personal details of their life with you.
15)You can’t remember the last time you drove a car.
16)It doesn’t bother you shops are closed on Sunday.
17)You make an appointment to hang out with a friend 3 days ahead of time.
18)You have a vague guilty feeling you should be more productive but you aren’t sure how.
19)You consider sitting outside at a cafe, merely because the sun is shining regardless of the cold.
20)You start saying hurtful things to people without knowing it, because you’re ‘just’ being honest.
21)You try and use logic when dealing with emotions.
22)You know what “Malla” (Mallorca) is and you are glad you have never been there.
23)You don’t trust Schwaebisch people but you don’t know why.
24)Wearing the same pants 3 days in a row seems normal.
25)You think of your life in terms of space between holiday periods.
26)You like to think that Northern German people feel as foreign here as you do.
27)You have an opinion on whether Sido (a rapper) should have taken his mask off or not.
28)You know what time your bus or tram leaves at all times.
29)You start saying “gell” or “weisch” at the end of everything you say.
30)You start telling people you are a Bobele too.
31)You don’t think it’s strange for a tv show to start at 6.05pm.
32)You know what a Nuss Schnecke is (a pastry).
33)You know what a Schnecke (hot chick) is when talking to guys.
34)You start saying “Was geht denn ab” (what’s up?) to everyone in your life.
35)You know what Hartz4 is and you think that’s what he should get.
36)You know what “schniposa” is.
37)You realize German people are just as ignorant as American people.
38)You feel annoyed when people trying getting on the tram/bus when others are still trying to get off.
39)You feel pressure when bagging your groceries at Aldi.
40)You don’t think it’s strange that there is a dog next to you at the bar.
41)You have heard the song “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” more in 5 years in German than the rest of your life combined.
42)It’s okay to accuse someone of being like the Stasi if they come from the west but Gestapo is out of the question.
43)You don’t think it’s strange to see a sign “Im Sitzen Pinklen” (Sit when you pee) in someone’s bathroom.
44)You actually look at your shit before you flush it.
45)You go weekend food shopping as if getting enough for the end of the world.
More coming soon…