In this case, “she” is Assiyeah. She’s coming over to watch “Lost” with my roommate. I told her today that maybe she and I could say hi, she could look at my room (formerly our room) and see how I decorated it and maybe I can get through two minutes of being in the same room with her without tearing up but it ain’t likely and I started to feel something coming up just typing that.
But here’s the thing. I have to get better. I mean that in different ways, I must get better and there is no way of me avoiding getting better so let’s get it going. I decided that by asking her to knock on my door as she comes over, I can see her in a comfortable, private setting. We can keep our conversation brief and superficial and then she can go and watch television with my roommate. I have decided that by seeing her a few times, it can help desensitize me and so that at some point, we can actually be in the same room at a party and it won’t be the worst feeling in the world.
I know this may not be the most interesting part of the blog but it is still my life. It’s been exactly 3 months since Assiyeah left me. That’s not a lot of time after a five-year relationship. I mean, shit, I could still be sitting in my pajamas and tearing up at the thought of her. Oh wait a sec, I am in my pajamas… But seriously, so much shit has happened to me in the past three months that I am a lucky guy. Let’s make a quick list:
1)spent a month in the States where I saw a lot of old friends, visited some great cities and I met some damn cute women, even kissed one of them
2)went to Spain for 8 days with a great friend and had a blast
3)went to London to visit two old friends for a long weekend
4)had two photo exhibitions
5)dated a super cool chick the past five-six weeks
See what I mean? It’s not just that I’ve been sitting at home in my pajamas the whole time and crying like a little girl who skinned her knee. Of course, that has happened a couple of times but I really did skin my knee! 🙂
I’ll be in Amsterdam next weekend, promise to have more “interesting shit” to break down for ya’ll, if I can remember it at all!