Sometimes an album comes out and it fits the perfect moment for now. This is at least the second time that a Ryan Adams album is the perfect album for the time being. The first was “Gold” which came out around September 11th and of course it was recorded before that day but his first video which came out like 2 weeks after 9/11 was called “New York, New York” and had the twin towers in the background and I remember that Fall that I listened to that album so much, it had so many perfect feelings and emotions encapsulated on one cd.
Well, he’s done it again though this time it’s more personal. Here I am, my 5-year relationship essentially over, and I’m left with photo albums and memories and feelings just surrounding me in our small room which she doesn’t live in anymore. She’s so stupid. I tried really hard to make her happy and she let herself get into so much trouble internally that it was impossible for her to talk to me until she could just run away and into the arms of someone else.
Unfortunately I lost the second half of this post about my future and what I am going to do this evening and in general. the short version is I’m going to jog soon, clean up some work papers and have a private lesson from 7-8:30pm and then eat something and call my friend Maya after that and then go to bed early because I have a long ass day tomorrow.
I was thinking about how I wanted to do something special for Assiyeah next summer after she finished university as a graduation gift, like 2 months in Asia with one of the months totally chilled and relaxed and the other money more active and visiting cities and what not and now that has all been throw up in the air. So now I had this idea and now I want to find something amazing for me to do for myself next summer, something that will remind me of how full and rewarding my life is and I thought that I could spend 8 weeks heading west next summer, with about 2 weeks at home in California and about 6 weeks in Central America. I can already speak some Spanish and maybe a two-week class somewhere and check out some new countries with a language I can already speak some and me needing to be in complete control of my life. I travelled alone to Ukraine/Baltic States, Norway and Montenegro the past 3 years alone and while it was interesting, it wasn’t the same without Assiyeah. I either need to be with her and travel with her or travel alone and be free to do what I want. So I guess I planted a seed today. When the summer 2008 semester is over, I might be flying to Los Angeles, hang for a week and then fly to Mexico City or a Central American capital and travel around for 6 weeks and then come back to LA for a week of relaxing before going back to Germany. It certainly sounds like a nice carrot to hang out in front of me to get me focused on what I’m doing again…