Assiyeah broke up with me last night. We had been together for 5 years and 2 months and she basically fell out of love with me and got interested in another guy and never told me until I sort of figured it out. I am really bummed that she made such a stupid decision to not talk to me about our problems before allowing herself to get interested in a new person. This new guy has had the good parts of a relationship the past two months, the newness and excitement and stolen kisses and she’s been coming home to me and “it’s your turn to do the dishes” and “help me hang the wash” and “can you keep it down, I’m trying to study”. Doesnt’ she think that her new relationship will have the same problems that we had? Most of the stuff she told me last night is stuff that every relationship deals with: loss of passion, feeling of routine, having grown apart and other stuff which makes varying degrees of sense. She wants to try and be with this other guy, I guess.
And I told her that if when she tells him that she wants to try and have something with him and he doesn’t make her feel like he is the luckiest guy on the earth, then she’s just made a big mistake. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to be with her, a girl who is moody, bitchy, unreasonable, difficult, always has to be right, gets mad too easily, grumpy in the mornings and stressed way too easily while handling it poorly. I still loved her despite all of those things. I was completely willing to try and do anything to make our relationship better.
I’m going home to the States for all of August and it couldn’t have a better timing. I need to see people who have known me for years and hang out with my parents and try and figure out what is going on. I am not going to move back to Calfornia right now. I have developed my own life here in Germany the past 4.5 years. I have my work, my apartment, my friends and life, meaning travel, fun and culture here. Unfortunately the reason I came to Germany doesn’t exist anymore. I mean, now I have other reasons to stay here (see above mentioned) and who knows, maybe in two months she will tell me that she made a mistake. Except of course she has too much pride and I had to ask her last night to please feel like she can call me if she realizes she made a mistake.
Now I need to lose 15-20 pounds, start taking better care of myself and plan another trip. Man, I hope she figures out she made a mistake before it’s too late. I love her.